Recently, a political figure’s
spouse was accused of plagiarism. In
this day when a politician can expect every “jot and tittle” of a speech to be
scrutinized by the media, it is puzzling how advisers ever allowed the speaker
onto the podium with that speech. The
whole matter may remain a footnote mystery of this campaign.
As a writer, I don’t like
plagiarism. So, as you read this post
should something seem familiar, don’t call Matt Drudge; I am quoting
myself. I’ve extracted some material
from an earlier post, elaborating on it just a bit.
I’ll begin by retelling a story.
Dr. Brewster Higley was born in
Rutland, Ohio in 1823, a city his grandfather had founded.[1] Higley went to college in Indiana and became
a physician, returning to Ohio to open his first practice. He would eventually become an ENT specialist
(ear, nose, and throat). It’s probably
just as well he didn’t pioneer as a marriage counselor. Here’s a summary of the doctor’s experience.
Dr. Higley married five times and
fathered three children. It’s generally
believed his first three marriages ended tragically when his wives succumbed to
injury or disease, but some biographers suggest his second wife abandoned
him. Following his first three
marriages, Brewster married Mrs. Mercy Ann McPherson, a widow, on Feb. 28,
1866. The woman apparently did not live up to her name, “Mercy; ” or she was
the source of the lament “O mercy.” The
two had a tumultuous relationship and Dr. Higley felt compelled to leave his
children with relatives in Illinois and secretly move away. He found his way to Smith County, Kansas, in
1871. Four years later his marriage mercifully
dissolved by default on Feb. 9, 1875. One month later, on March 8, 1875, he
married Sarah Clemons, his final wife.
In Kansas, Higley took advantage of
the Homestead Act and claimed some land in Smith County. Theoretically, homesteaders were supposed to
improve their land but I found an article that said the land and the cabin he
built looks about the same today as it did nearly a hundred and forty years
ago.
Sometime around 1872, after Higley
moved to Kansas and before his final marriage, Higley wrote a little poem he
called “My Western Home.” He had a
friend set it to music and it became one of the most popular songs in American
history.
In Higley’s original poem, which
eventually became the song known as “Home on the Range,” he pictures the west
as that place “where seldom is heard a discouraging word….” I used to live in the west and I’m pretty
sure that wasn’t true, even in Higley’s day.
Of course, maybe a few sour notes about the weather, cattle prices, and
poor crops didn’t sound so bad after what he may have heard from his fourth
wife. But I’m not going to get into
that.
Higley’s poetic claim
notwithstanding, discouragement knows neither geographical nor age
boundaries. The most spiritual among us
are not immune.
The story of Paul's first visit to Corinth
is unique because we have his own commentary on his emotional and spiritual
state when he came to the city. Listen
to what he says,
“I
came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling.”
Another translation renders the
verse this way: “...when I came to you I was weak and trembled all over with fear.” And, still another says, “I came before you weak, nervous, and shaking with fear.”
In short, Paul was truly discouraged;
he had been robbed of the courage he needed to keep going.
There were several reasons why Paul
was so discouraged at this time in his ministry. His spiritual and moral sensibilities had
been shocked by visits to Athens (where it’s said there were more gods than
men) and Corinth (a city whose motto could have been “What happens in Corinth,
stays in Corinth.”) Just as significant
Paul was physically drained and separated from his friends—alone during this crisis.
In our day, those last two
frequently seem to be connected. Many of
us work too hard and when we finish work, we are alone.
In her book, Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident,
Assertive, Entitled—and More Miserable Than Ever Before, Dr. Jean Twenge
reports on how many young Americans simply work too many hours to have time to
make friends. She writes, “Friends of
mine who are lawyers and accountants often find it difficult to spare the time
for a movie, a phone-call to a long-distance friend, or a casual chat with a
neighbor.”[2] Twenge cites other studies that say moderns
hesitate to share problems with others because they know their “friends” are
too busy to listen.[3]
About the time this Twenge’s book
was published, Pat and I visited London.
One evening we decided to forego finding a restaurant or using room
service, opting instead to get something from the prepared food department at
the Marks and Spencer’s across Edgware Road from our hotel. When we got to the store, we stunned. The
crowd of young men and women was three deep in front of the cold cases of
sandwiches and salads. They weren’t
chatting with each other. No one was
laughing. Everyone just grabbed a meal,
bought it, and headed off to his or her apartment to eat and get ready to face
another day.
Of course, today, some of those
young people will be heading to their flats to eat their simple meals in front
of a computer screen as they attempt to finish a project begun at the
office. When I was a child and heard the
3:30 whistle at the steel mill, I knew my father would soon be home from
work. And when he was home, he was home. He couldn’t bring home the “sand washer,”
“the cooling tower,” or whatever else he worked on as a pipefitter. Cyber-technology has allowed the job to reach
into our homes and demand even more of our time and energy.
Fatigue and loneliness are two major
ingredients of discouragement. You can’t
even hum “You and Me Against the World” without it sounding hallow. It probably helps to be married but often
your spouse comes home exhausted as well.
Fatigue and loneliness are often
exacerbated by the stress caused by fear of losing a job. Knowing your job could be sent off to another
continent or given to a younger person causes sleepless nights that only add to
the fatigue.
Dealing with fatigue and loneliness
demands a proactive response.
While the Bible is not about
friendship, it does contain examples of great friendships (Jonathan and David)
and some pointed counsel about friendship, especially in Proverbs. And, of course,
the creation story reveals that God made us for human fellowship, to give the
fullest meaning to the verdict that “man” being alone is “not good.”
Perhaps the most relevant point the
Bible offers about friendship is its insistence that those who wish to have
friends must take the initiative in making friends. God occasionally sends people our way to help
relieve our loneliness but the responsibility of cultivating and maintaining
the relationship is ours. Shortly after coming to Corinth, Paul met Priscilla
and Aquilla. They would become friends
and co-workers. Paul’s frequent mention
of the couple in his letters suggests he maintained close contact with them for
years.
Facebook posts seldom produce such
friendships. Real friendship demands
time, face-to-face encounters, and the sharing of ideas, not just epigrams and
quips. Finding the time is a challenge but worthwhile relationships often do.
At the same time, dealing with
fatigue or reducing fatigue from the workplace may require creativity and
effort.
It begins with making sure you are
in the best possible health. A visit to
our doctor might be in order, especially if your fatigue seems chronic. Once the status of your health is confirmed,
there may be some practical actions you can take.
The same cyber-technology that
sometimes leads to more work or, at least, more intrusive work, may provide
some options for workers. Some employers
recognize that it doesn’t matter where the work is done as long as the work is
done. They are allowing workers to spend
a day or two working from home during the week.
This doesn’t mean less work but it may mean the work is done in a more
relaxed atmosphere where breaks aren’t accompanied by office gossip or gripe
fests. In fact, the worker may even be
more efficient with the thermostat set high or low, according to personal
preference, as James Taylor or Taylor Swift plays in the background.
If just being at the workplace
drains your energy, you might consider approaching your employer about the
possibility of working from home a day or two each week.
At this point you might expect me
to recommend getting into a good church where you can make friends and find
some focus for your energy besides work.
I still believe in the value of the local church but I know many people
don’t, especially younger Americans.
They believe the church is both hypercritical and hypocritical.
I wish I could simply deny the
charges but I can’t. Some churches are
guilty of these flaws. But not every
church is. Don’t give up on the church because of a church.
But be aware: some churches may
unwittingly add to your fatigue. They
promote the unhealthy behavior we see in some Christians.
These Christians cannot relax. These folks are in a “church mode” all the
time. You can imagine them at Halloween,
telling their children, “There’s going to be lots of pirates and witches out
there but we want be a positive influence so Tommy you’re going as Billy Graham
and Suzy you’re going as Lottie Moon.”
If these folks don’t burn out, they’ll eventually become churchly
workaholics—feeling that they’re failing God if they don’t have half a dozen
jobs. And they seldom understand why we
wouldn’t want to join them.
While I really believe
participating in a vital Christian fellowship might help heal your
discouragement, I wouldn’t want you entrapped in church that adds to your
fatigue and makes the likelihood of real fellowship remote.
Does that sound unspiritual,
shallow? If you think so, consider this open
letter by David Crosby. Crosby was the
pastor of the First Baptist Church of New Orleans during one of the most
difficult times in that city’s history, the post-Katrina recovery. Here’s what this hard-working pastor said.
Emotional exhaustion is
settling upon many of us. We have fought long and hard to reclaim our families,
our homes, our companies, and our lives. And now we are just about to drop.
I have read that a great race
horse has so much heart that he will run for the jockey until he kills himself.
The jockey riding a great horse has to be acquainted with the physical limits
and protect the horse from his own determined will.
So maybe it is time to stop and
drop. You don't have to drop hard, and you don't have to stay down long. But
for the sake of everyone you love, you have to take a breather.
I can hear your thoughts
churning. People are depending on you-important people like children and
spouses and aging parents. You are a caregiver every day. You are the
chauffeur, the nanny, the nurse, and the maid.
You are the sole provider. You
generate the only income stream. Everything goes south if you stop producing.
Everyone depends on you.
All the more reason to stop and
drop. The rat race will be okay without you for a day or two. You will not fix
everything that still needs repaired and recovered in one fell swoop. We are in
a 20-year marathon down here on the bayou, and we have to move out of crisis mode
and into a sustainable pace with appropriate breaks.
The mountain of things yet to
do seems overwhelming. Sometimes we fear that we are just digging futilely at
the edge of the pile. Frustration combined with futility will wear out any
hearty soul.
Stop and drop. It will increase
your energy, lower your anxiety, and bring your world into better focus.
After all, everyone on the
planet is recovering in some way. We are all "getting over" troubles
of some kind. We cannot postpone love and life and recreation until we are
fully recovered. You can see where that would leave us.
As we wrestle with discouragement,
most of us would refuse to abandon our children and marriages to find some
place where “seldom is heard a discouraging word.” Higley would eventually discover that Kansas’s
skies could be cloudy, to the point of spawning tornadoes; that along with the
playful deer and antelope there are rattlesnakes and marauding coyotes. We can’t escape all the forces that might rob
us of our courage to keep going. Such a
theft is the essence of discouragement.
If those forces include fatigue and
loneliness, there are resources we can use to resist their influence.
[1] Much of the following information is found in
“Brewster Higley,” (.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brewster_Higley_VI
- cite_note-heritage-4) Accessed 30 July 2016.
[2] Jean M. Twenge, Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident,
Assertive, Entitled—and More Miserable Than Ever Before, New York: Free
Press, 2006, p. 115.
