Sunday, May 31, 2015

Remembering Who You Are

Last time I dealt with one kind of memory problem.  This time I’m dealing with another.  This is not just a great Sunday school story; it’s a story about life in the real world.
Daniel 3
One morning while we were in Montreal I turned on the TV and caught the end of a movie about one man’s struggle with his identity.  It seems he was a French Canadian who could no longer speak the French he had learned as a child.  Not only could he not speak French, he really didn’t understand why anyone should expect him to.
He spoke only English and didn’t even try to speak French.  While you and I may have forgotten the Spanish, French, German, or Russian we may have learned in high school with few consequences, this man’s life was continually impacted by his plight.  His French Canadian fiancé, whom he had known his entire life, was particularly distressed at his abandonment of their common culture.  
The situation threatened their relationship.  She wondered if they could get married as long as he was so indifferent to their heritage.  The movie ended as she tried to make one more appeal to him to recall the past.
On a picnic, she begins to sing a little song they had sung as children;   the song was in French and she encouraged him to join her in singing it.  The movie ended with the man’s sad comment, “I don’t remember.”
Okay, maybe this tragedy doesn’t seem in the same category as Hamlet but to understand how significant his statement was all you need to do is look at a Quebec license plate.  On that plate you’ll see the motto of the province of Quebec:  “Je me souviens.”  The phrase means, “I remember.” 
Not long after the motto was adopted lots of people began asking, “remember what?”  Of course, in means to remember Quebec’s French heritage and history but another interpretation suggests the phrase is intended to mean, “I remember who I am.”
[This story might be hard for Americans (i.e., folks from the USA) to grasp since until recent years learning English and becoming part of our culture was believed to be the road to success.  I suppose the fiancé’s shock might be comparable to that of a girl from Waco discovering her boyfriend from Amarillo didn’t remember the Alamo.]
While Quebecers have learned how to cooperate and work with the larger Canadian culture, as individuals they remember their special history and refuse to lose their identity.
In an age of post-modern relativism Christians could learn something from the Quebecers.  Lot’s of people would have us forget who we are, forget what we know to be true, forget why we are here.
It’s not the first time God’s people have faced the pressure to forget.  Another time was five centuries before the birth of Christ.
Let’s consider how three young men faced that pressure.
From POWs to Students.
The scene opens as hundreds of young men are milling around the processing center, waiting for something to happen.  From their hairstyles and clothing we can tell they are Jewish;  from their expressions we can tell they are apprehensive.
They are prisoners of war.  The mighty empire of Babylon raided Judah and carried off human treasure.  These young men—most no older than fourteen or fifteen—are the best and brightest of the Jewish nation.  Or, at least they were.  They now belong to the Babylonian Emperor Nebuchadnezzer.
As they reflected on this situation a Babylonian official called the group to attention.  “Men,” he said, “you represent the finest minds of your nation.  Our king has honored you by bringing you to our glorious capital to be trained for service to the empire.  You will be given the finest foods—food worthy enough to be offered to our gods.
“In a few years you will be among our best-trained civil servants.”
He goes on to explain how for the next three years they will study the lore and legend of the Babylonians.  They will study science, history, and statecraft.  They will also study astrology and magic.  In short, they will be indoctrinated in paganism.
As the official instructs the young men to line-up in a single row, we focus on four of them.  At first appearance there is nothing out of the ordinary about them, but a look at their eyes reveals a deep intensity, an inner resolve.  They are determined to remember.
One by one, these young men are called forward and given new names.  Their former Hebrew names, each honoring Yahweh in some way, were replaced with names that honored the Babylonian gods.  For example, Azariah, whose name meant “Yahweh has helped,” became Abednego, which mean “servant of Nego,” one of the many Babylonian gods.
Do you remember that terrible scene in Roots when Kunte Kinte's new masters whipped him until he submitted to being called “Toby?”  It was a psychological ploy to make him forget his identity.
The Babylonians also wanted these young Jewish men to forget their identities.
Would they be successful?
Facing the Heat

It’s now a few years later.  The four young men are involved in the Babylonian government in various positions.  In fact, one of them,  Daniel, has risen to lofty heights in the government.  But this story isn’t about him.  It’s about Shadrack, Meshach, and Abednego.  
Like Daniel, they had had the finest education available, one rooted in the Babylonian worldview, they were now at the center of life in the pagan kingdom;  would they remember who they were?

At the first sight of the 90-foot statue glinting in the sunlight, you might have been tempted to say, “I don’t know much about are, but I know what I like and I don’t like that.”
Where had the monstrosity come from?
No doubt hoping for advancement, several of Nebuchadnezzar’s advisors had flattered him into building the monument to himself.  They had even made this suggestion:  Whenever the royal musicians played, people were to bow down and worship the image.  Those who failed to bow down would be thrown into a giant furnace.
It would be a test of loyalty to the king and the kingdom.  In fact, it would be one royal ego-trip for Nebuchadnezzar.
It would also be a test for Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  Would they remember who they were?
As soon as the statue was completed and the new policy announced, the musicians began to play.  All across the plain of Dura, where the statue stood, men and women fell to their knees to honor the Babylonian king.  There were Jewish people in that crowd, men and women who had grown up learning the commandment, “Thou shalt not make any graven image to bow down to it.”  But, still, they bowed under the pressure.  They forgot and bowed down.
Were Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego among them?   Or, did they remember?
We get the answer from some of the men who instigated the plot.  They came to Nebuchadnezzar with a story to tell.
Let’s pick up the account from Daniel 3:8-30.
A Report to the King (8-12).  This was phrased in such a way as to dare the king to do something about the upstarts.
Now at that time certain  Chaldeans came forward and brought malicious accusations against the Jews. They said a to King Nebuchadnezzar, “O king, live forever!  You have issued an edict, O king, that everyone must bow down and pay homage to the golden statue when they hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, trigon, harp, pipes, and all kinds of music. And whoever does not bow down and pay homage must be thrown into the midst of a furnace of blazing fire. But there are Jewish men whom you appointed over the administration of the province of Babylon- Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego- and these men a have not shown proper respect to you, O king. They donʼt serve your gods and they donʼt pay homage to the golden statue that you have erected

The Rage of the King (13-15).  Listen to how the New Jerusalem Bible translates this passage.
   Shaking with fury, Nebuchadnezzar sent for Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego. The men were immediately brought before the king. 
   Nebuchadnezzar addressed them, "Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego, is it true that you do not serve my gods, and that you refuse to worship the golden statue I have set up? 
   When you hear the sound of horn, pipe, lyre, zither, harp, bagpipe and every other kind of instrument, are you prepared to prostrate yourselves and worship the statue I have made? If you refuse to worship it, you will be thrown forthwith into the burning fiery furnace; then which of the gods could save you from my power?"
The king was enraged.  He was not one to accept defiance.  I can visualize him, in his royal robes of office, his face dark with anger, trying to intimidate these three young men.  
Furious as he was, the king had the presence of mind to say to himself, “What we have here is a failure to communicate.  If I explain the situation, these boys will be smart enough to comply.”   With measured tones he explained what was expected and what the consequences would be if they didn’t comply.
Can’t you almost hear the taunt in his final question—“which of the gods could save you from my power?”
The Response to the King (16-18).  How did Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego respond to the king?  They had no First Amendment rights to appeal to.  There was no Babylonian Civil Liberties Union to take their case.  Their response is a model of respect and quiet faith.
 Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego replied to King Nebuchadnezzar, "Your question needs no answer from us:  if our God, the one we serve, is able to save us from the burning fiery furnace and from your power, Your Majesty, he will save us;  and even if he does not, then you must know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your god or worship the statue you have set up."
There was no presumption in their response, there was simple resolution.  They remembered who they were and resolved to act accordingly.
Let me read the rest of the story with only limited comment.  (19-30)  I’ll be using the Voice translation to underscore the dramatic effect of the story.
19 At this Nebuchadnezzar flew into such a rage at Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego that onlookers saw his face twisted and distorted. With fury burning in his eyes, he ordered the furnace heated up seven times hotter than usual. 20 He commanded some of his strongest soldiers to tie up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego so they could be thrown into the furnace of blazing fire. 21 So the Jews were taken and tied up so quickly that they were still wearing the clothes they had on when they arrived—pants, cloaks, hats, and all.  Then they were picked up and thrown into the furnace of blazing fire. 22 The furnace was so hot and the king’s command carried out so quickly, without any precautions, that the soldiers who took Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego up to the furnace were themselves killed by the heat of the raging fire. 
[This note about the soldiers being killed shows how greatly his subjects feared the king’s wrath.  They didn’t even take “precautions” against being caught in the fire themselves.]
23 And the three Jews, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, tied and bound, fell into the furnace of blazing fire.
24 Nebuchadnezzar could hardly believe his eyes. Shocked, the king jumped up and asked his advisors,
Nebuchadnezzar: Didn’t we tie up and throw three men into the heart of the fire?
Advisors: Yes, O king.
Nebuchadnezzar: 25 Then why do I see four men, completely unbound, walking around in the middle of the fire? They don’t appear to be hurt at all. And the fourth . . . he appears to be like a son of the gods.
[Some Bible students have argued this was a pre-Incarnate appearance of the Second Person of the Trinity, a Theophany or Christophany.  This comes from the King James Version’s rendering of the king’s statement in which he is made to say the fourth figure was “like the son of God.”  Most modern translations say “a son of the gods.”  We just don’t have enough information to identify the fourth figure but we should not allow our theology to be determined by the words of a pagan king.]
26 Then Nebuchadnezzar moved as close to the door of the furnace as he dared without being scorched. He shouted over the roar of the blazing fire.
Nebuchadnezzar: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, servants of the Most High God, come out, right now. Come here!
So the three men made their way out of the fiery furnace.
27 The officers, prefects, governors, and king’s advisors moved closer to see what had happened to these men. They, too, could hardly believe their eyes. The fire had done nothing to harm these men. Their hair was not singed. Their clothes were not scorched. They didn’t have the faintest smell of smoke on them.
Nebuchadnezzar: 28 Praise is certainly due the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego today. He sent His heavenly representative and rescued His servants who put their trust in Him. They had the audacity to disobey the king’s order and surrendered their bodies to the fire rather than serve and worship any god other than their own God. 29 Therefore, I decree that any people—regardless of their heritage, nationality, or language—who speak against the God worshiped by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego shall be torn apart, limb from limb, and their houses reduced to rubble; for no god I have ever heard of is able to rescue as this God has rescued His servants today.
[As good as the king’s response sounds, there’s no hint he was actually converted to the worship of Yahweh; he was just adding another deity to the pantheon.  Hedging his bets, as it were.  Nor should we imagine the people were converted.  Coerced worship is worship that is coerced.  There’s not much likelihood of it being sincere.  Still, the story must have encouraged those Jews who were struggling to remain faithful.]
30 Afterward the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego to even higher positions in the province of Babylon.


Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had handled the heat—they had remembered who they were when the pressure was on.
Role Models for the Generations

For centuries these three men have served as role models for those believers who face the pressure brought by a culture that would have them forget God.  Their refusal to bow to the image of a pompous king has inspired and encouraged others who were called upon to bow to some new idol of the age.  John Calvin once said the mind of man was a “factory of idols”.  In the nearly twenty-five hundred years since this story was written, that factory has had no slow-downs.
Those idols may include power, wealth, fame, relationships, pleasure, self, and any number of other things which become the focus of our existence, the objects which cause us to forget who we are, to forget we were made to have a unique relationship  with God.
How can we resist the temptation to forget who we are? 
How can we live in a world filled with so many idols and still maintain our commitment to the God who is worthy of our faithfulness?

Remembering Who You Are Is Easier When You Maintain A Steadfast Consistancy


The stand that came as such a surprise to the Babylonians shouldn’t have surprised anyone who knew these young men.
Earlier they had stood firm on what many would consider a minor matter:  diet.  
One of the “perks” associated with their training in statecraft was being able to eat food from the king’s table.  But there was a problem.
You see, the food from the king’s table had been part of a sacrifice to one or another of the Babylonian gods.  To eat such food would be to participate in the worship of that god!  Though their fellow-students might have been licking their plates and asking for more, these young men would not defile themselves.
Instead they boldly asked for the privilege of eating simpler fare—just plain vegetables.  God honored their commitment by making them look healthier than all the rest of the students.
Now, not everyone would have been so adamant about this issue.  They would have said, “I’ll compromise here—after all, it’s a minor issue—when something important comes up, I’ll take a stand.”
The problem is, when we begin thinking that way we often discover that nothing important enough ever comes up.
Maybe you’ve found that one compromise leads easily to another?  Postpone taking a stand long enough and soon you’ll find there’s nothing left to stand for.  Compromise enough and you’ll forget who you are.
In our age it’s particularly tempting to compromise for pragmatic reasons, to compromise to make people like us, to compromise to keep some of the pressure off.
Consistency begins with the decisions you make and the actions you take before the heat is turned up.  



Remembering Who You Are Is Easier When You Have Sympathetic Companions.


This story displays the power of healthy friendships.  Each of these young men could encourage the others to remember who they were, to remember God’s acts of power on behalf of his people, to remember the call to be a witness to the world.
There is a positive side to peer pressure.  We’re all called to stand alone if necessary, but a gracious God has ordained that we seldom have to.  We need to remember the encouraging power of friends—Paul and Silas sang a duet in jail.  Peter refused to obey the command to stop preaching Christ—as John stood with him.
Even today you’re likely to find at least one person who shares your values, who will encourage you as you remember who you are.
If you would carry out the mandate to share the gospel you can’t isolate yourself from the world.  You can’t reach a person for Christ if you treat that person as an untouchable.  
At the same time, if you would maintain your identity as a Christian, you need friends who share your commitment and world-view.  They will help you remember who you are.

Remembering Who You Are Is Easier When You Hold Onto Sure Convictions.


It’s important what you believe.  What you believe determines your behavior and how you respond to the challenges to your attempts to live with spiritual and moral integrity. 
These young men embraced a worldview that was radical.  They were part of the people who shocked the world by declaring that God’s power is not limited by geography.  They insisted the rule of God extends to wherever we are.  It wasn’t the young men who were putting god to the test; it was King Nebuchadnezzar.
They were convinced of God’s wisdom.  They knew that wisdom was embodied in God’s law.  Whatever arguments they may have heard for compromise, for bowing down just a little, made no impression upon them because they were convinced that God’s way was the wisest and best.  
Although Judah was in a serious spiritual decline, the parents of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego passed the biblical world-view from one generation to the next.  Their parents passed along an understanding of who God is and who they were as part of God’s people.  As a consequence, their understanding of who they were under God allowed them to find the spiritual courage they needed to take their stand.
In a sense, their victory was won before they were thrown into the flames.  They knew that whatever the outcome, God was worthy of their commitment and trust.
Bill Hybels once commented on a problem facing those who would preach or teach on discipleship.  He said, “Whenever I talk about total commitment, people think I’m from Mars.”  Perhaps this problem is rooted in our culture’s failure to understand who God is and its failure to help believers remember their identity.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
Conclusion
You live under tremendous pressure to forget who you are, to surrender your integrity, to give up trying to live as Christ’s person in the world.  If you take a stand in your Babylon, where people are trying to make you forget your identity, you may have to face a fiery furnace.  God hasn’t abandoned you there.
He will help you remember.






Saturday, May 23, 2015

Memory Problems


Matthew 18:21-22

 As you might guess, this was originally a sermon to begin a new year.  No matter the year or the month, what Jesus said about forgiveness is something we need to remember.

Just over a week ago, you probably head someone sing these words of a Robert Burns poem: 
“Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne ?”
The phrase that gives the song its name means “days gone by” or what we might call “the old days.”  It’s a call to not forget the experiences that have meant something special to us, those things that have made our friendships what they are.
The song reminds us that our memories aren’t perfect.  We forget things.  And you don’t have to be a man or a woman of a certain age to experience memory lapses.  But haven’t you noticed something?  A man may forget an anniversary, a birthday, his wife’s favorite perfume, but he won’t forget the wrong done to him by a coworker or former friend.  We never seem to have memory lapses when it comes to the hurts and wounds we’ve experienced.  As long as that’s true, the kind of forgiveness Jesus calls us to display will be impossible.
The mathematics in this question is important.  Peter was trying to outdo the Pharisees.  They said we should forgive an enemy three times.  He intended to show himself a better man.  At the same time, Peter hadn’t backed himself into a corner; he placed a cap on forgiveness.  He failed to see Jesus was trying to teach unlimited forgiveness.
Of course most of us are more like Peter than Jesus.  We want to place a limit on forgiving those who hurt us. 
Dr. David Allen, a psychiatrist with the Minirth-Meir New Life Clinic suggests several reasons why we don’t forgive.  Here are some of them.
1.  Refusing to forgive allows us to have power and control.
2. Refusing to forgive lets us blame others for our problems. 
3. Refusing to forgive allows us to play the victimized martyr role.
4. Refusing to forgive protects us from the natural “hazards” of relationships. (As we say, “Because I was hurt I’ll never get close to anyone again.”)
There are probably more reasons but the primary reason for not forgiving other is that forgiving others is tough.   As C. S. Lewis said, “Forgiveness sounds like a good idea until we have someone to forgive.”
We don’t know if Peter had a particular “brother” in mind when he asked the question.  Andrew is the only brother of Peter’s mentioned in the NT and “brother” can be used for those we would call “cousins.”  He may have even been using the term metaphorically to refer to a spiritual brother.  Whatever, Peter was asking about the cruelest kind of hurt and the toughest kind of forgiveness.  And remember, he asked that question as surrounded by eleven spiritual “brothers.”  The hardest thing to forgive is the hurt we receive at the hand of one we should be able to trust.
Some nineteen hundred years before Peter asked his question another man, surrounded by eleven brothers, faced the question of forgiveness.
Joseph was the son of Jacob and Rachel.  Jacob showered Joseph with gifts and privileges.  The affection Joseph’s parents felt for him was obviously greater than what they felt for his older brothers.  In time, he fell prey to his brothers’ jealousy. 
In a hastily concocted plot, they sold the seventeen-year-old Joseph to slave traders who took him to Egypt. 
A slave in Egypt, Joseph was falsely accused of trying to assault his master’s wife and thrown into prison. 
While imprisoned, Joseph, using a God-given ability, interpreted the dream of a fellow-prisoner.  When that prisoner was released (as Joseph had said he would be) he promised to help Joseph get out of prison.  He didn’t.
Finally, after years in prison, the man did remember Joseph who was able to interpret one of the Pharoah’s dreams.  The Pharoah, realizing the wisdom of the man who
had interpreted his dream, appointed Joseph Prime Minister over Egypt.
The dream had foretold seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.  Through Joseph’s wise administration Egypt greeted the seven years of famine with a surplus of grain, enough for its own people and enough to trade to other nations.
These circumstances set the stage for Joseph’s encounter with his brothers, years after they had sold him as a slave.  His own brothers would come to him for grain.
Surely if any man could be excused for maintaining an unforgiving spirit, it would have been Joseph. 
We might have expected Joseph to exact a severe revenge against those who had caused him such grief.  Instead, he forgave them.
A man who could have declared it to be “pay-back” time, chose to forgive those who had most wronged him.
That Joseph could forgive his brothers is a source of inspiration to all of us who struggle to forgive those who have wronged us. 
What can Joseph teach us about forgiving the hurts inflicted by those closest to us?
1.      We prepare ourselves to forgive by pursuing a vision for a lifestyle beyond the ordinary.
Revenge is the expected response to a hurt; forgiveness is the unexpected response.
Joseph’s brothers obviously expected him to seek retribution for their actions.  Even after he had graciously helped them relocate in Egypt, they thought he was only waiting for his father to die so he could freely seek revenge.
Joseph had a surprise for them.  His forgiveness was sincere!
Jesus envisioned a radical new way.  He called for his followers to make forgiveness a hallmark of their lives.
Jesus honestly recognized that forgiveness sometimes has to be repeated.  The rest of the world may place limits on forgiveness, but Christ’s followers are to completely abandon the notion of limited forgiveness.
No Christian could rub his hands together and mutter, “Oh, Boy, I’ve forgiven him seven times, if he messes up one more time, I can squash him like a roach.” 

2.    We prepare ourselves to forgive by disciplining ourselves against acting vengefully.
In an age which glorifies being assertive we believe we can’t allow anyone to do us wrong without retaliation.  The bumper sticker message—I Don’t Get Mad, I Get Even—motivates many people, including some with bumper stickers urging us to Visualize World Peace.
As Prime Minister Joseph had the authority to arrest his brothers, to imprison them, to torture them, to execute them.  He resisted.
3.  We prepare ourselves to forgive by being ready to honestly acknowledge the depth of our pain.
We often practice a kind of polite prevarication.  We lie to make others feel better.  English lends itself to this kind of behavior.  Someone gives you a piece of cake with the consistency of sawdust, then asks, “Is it good?”  You respond, “’Good’ is not the word for that cake.”
In the same way, someone hurts us and asks, “Did I hurt your feelings?”  We respond, “My feelings?  Think nothing of it.”
There is a place for honesty in acknowledging our hurts, in assessing the depth of the pain caused by the actions of another.
In Genesis 50:20 Joseph went before his brothers and made a dramatic statement about their actions:  “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good….”
That’s an amazing statement about God’s power to bring good from evil, but we shouldn’t miss Joseph’s honest assessment of what his brothers had done.  Miroslav Volf insists that when we forgive someone we must confront them with their wrong. 
The word translated as “evil” or “harm” is used almost 300 times in the OT and refers to the worst kind of behavior.  In Genesis alone it is used for the violent wickedness which prompted God to send the flood and it is used to describe a disaster.  
Joseph didn’t kid himself.  He understood what had prompted his brothers’ actions, understood they intended their actions to have disastrous results.  We no more have the right to brush off the hurt another has done to us than we have to tell a co-worker that an act of embezzlement is nothing to worry about. 
How to you approach this moment in which you disclose your pain to the one who hurt you?
Let me offer you five “R’s” as a pattern for you.  (All of this assumes you approach the moment in a spirit of prayer.)
      ---- Reflection:  Think about how what was done hurt you and continues to hurt you.  This can be a difficult moment because it may open old wounds and resurrect old feelings.
      ---- Release:  Someone has said that forgiveness is letting go of your anger and your right to retaliate.  Unless you can do this it is too dangerous for you to proceed with your plans to confront.
      ---- Rehearsal:  Plan how you will say what you need to say.  Write it down—destroy what you’ve written.  Make sure you’re neither overstating the case nor understating it.
      ---- Pursue Resolution:  Ideally the best resolution would be recognition and reconciliation.  Frankly, that isn’t always the outcome.
      ---- Rest:  After the confrontation, which is at best an emotionally charged moment, try to accept the fact that you have done what you could.  By the way, as I’ve read the accounts of people forgiving those who hurt them, I’ve discovered that many of these people report experiencing a great sense of relief after forgiving the wrongdoer.  They say it’s like having a great weight lifted off their shoulders.

4.    We prepare ourselves to forgive by evaluating the painful moment in light of our total experience of God’s grace.
After Joseph became Prime Minister, he got married.  His wife’s name was Asenath.  Despite the fact it was an arranged marriage Joseph seemed to be happy with her.  Genesis 41:50-51 records the birth of their first child, a son named Manasseh.
Now, biblical people didn’t pull their children’s names out of a hat.  They chose them carefully.  Manasseh means “one who causes to forget.”  Joseph explains why he chose that name:
“God has made me forget all
my trouble
and all my father’s household.”
 James Montgomery Boice comments on Joseph’s choice for his firstborn’s name:
“…God had made him forget his trouble and his father’s household.  The subject here…is the sorrows and troubles of the past.  Joseph was saying God had enabled him to forget these as well.  …Joseph did not mean that he literally forgot he ever had a father and eleven brothers….  He meant rather that God had healed his wounds, suffered as the result of past abuses and disappointments, and had made his life fruitful.”[1]

Joseph named his second-born Ephraim which means “doubly fruitful.”  That name suggests his feeling that God’s blessings just kept on coming.
So much would happen if we could only allow the blessings God heaps upon us to create a blessed amnesia, an amnesia that allows us to be so focused on the good of the present that we can’t be obsessed with the bad things of the past.
This is not the notion of “forgiving and forgetting” we hear so much about.  That notion has the potential to do damage, especially if we think it means ignoring the hurt others have done to us.
Only a few years later, while Manasseh was still a child, Joseph would “remember” his brothers’ crime as they stood before him.  He remembered but refused to retaliate.
In some instances it might even be dangerous to “forget” someone’s misdeeds.  In 2 Timothy 4:14-15 Paul writes, “Alexander the coppersmith did me much harm.  The Lord will repay him according to his works.  You must also beware of him, for he has greatly resisted our words.”  Paul probably forgave Alexander, leaving any vengeance to the Lord; this, even though Alexander may have impeded Paul’s work, corrupted his message, and urged others to join him in resisting the gospel.  Though Paul forgave, he still warned Timothy about this potentially dangerous individual.[2]
Of course, barring some kind of illness, we don’t ever really ‘forget’ anything.  Let me perform an experiment.
Who said, “Give me liberty or give me death?”  Right, Patrick Henry.  Some of you may not have thought of that since your last American History class.  Still, you didn’t forget it.
But, unless you’re writing a biography of this fiery patriot I would worry about you if you said to me, “Jim, night and day I just can’t get Patrick Henry off my mind.”
If you can’t get the hurt someone has done you off your mind, you are in spiritual and emotional peril; and, you almost certainly haven’t been considering the positive things God has been doing in your life.
     
5.    We prepare ourselves to forgive by admitting we must open ourselves to God’s work in our lives.
Let’s be honest, giving up retaliation “just ain’t natural.”  Jesus helps us break that cycle in two ways:  He provide an example and he becomes a resource.
The Roman soldiers who drove nails into the hands of those they crucified were used to being cursed for what they were doing.  Imagine how shocked they were when one day a man responded with, “Father, forgive them…”
The parable Jesus told was an invitation to see the depth of God’s forgiveness.  Without going into all the details, let’s focus on only one element.  The first servant owed 10,000 talents.  One commentary says that’s about 60,000 days wages—it is a sum impossible to pay.  It reflects the spiritual debt we owe God, a debt we can’t pay.  In the story, the master forgives his servant.  That generosity ought to have inspired the first servant to become a forgiver.  It didn’t.  He promptly refused to forgive a fellow servant who owed a small sum.  Jesus seems to be implying that the wrongs done to us are small when compared to our sins against God.  When we grasp that we ought to become forgivers. 
Jesus’ forgiveness inspires us to forgive.   He enables us to do the shocking thing, to forgive our enemies.   But it’s more profound than following a good example. 
Our understanding begins when we remember that “sins” against us are almost always sins against God.  The Bible tells us that through Christ, God has forgiven all our sins.  God offers that forgiveness whether we accept it or not.  This seems to answer the question so many ask:  Am I supposed to forgive the person who doesn’t ask for it.  In Christ, God forgave us before we asked.  God’s side of forgiving is a reality whether we ask for it or not.  If we don’t ask for that forgiveness, we will never experience it; never know the joy of renewed fellowship with God.  But God is still the Forgiver.  We are to follow God’s lead.  We are to be forgivers whether the one who wounds us asks or not.
When we forgive those who wounded us, we tap into the forgiveness God has already provided for them.  Amazingly, we have the privilege of doing what God does:  Forgive.  Volf says, “…we have both the right to forgive and, in principle, the power to forgive.  In a word, we have the authority to lift the burden and wash away the stain of guilt.  It’s a derivative authority, dependent completely on God’s.  Nevertheless, it is genuine.  Without such authority Scripture could not urge us to forgive.”
When we open ourselves to let God work in and though us, that work will give birth to our forgiving those who have wronged us.

The Great Danger In Failing to Forgive
Jesus told his disciples that there was great danger in forgetting to forgive, in remembering those wounds.  The unforgiving servant in Jesus’ story faced a terrible fate.  Then Jesus warned, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”[3]
I don’t think Jesus is saying we must forgive before we can be forgiven.  If so, my forgiveness is dependent upon my something I do.  This seems to undermine the notion of grace and invite insincerity.  Instead, I think Jesus is warning of the natural consequences of failing to forgive.  Ray Steadman offers a comment on the warning.
This is a mysteriously expressive phrase to describe what happens to us when we do not forgive another.  It is an accurate description of gnawing resentment and bitterness, the awful gall of hate or envy.  It is a terrible feeling.  We cannot get away from it.  We feel strongly this separation from another and every time we think of them we feel within the acid of resentment and hate eating away at our peace and calmness.  This is the torturing our Lord says will take place.

The sad truth is.  Many of those who hurt us move on with no visible consequences of their actions.  Yet, if we keep our resentment alive, our hurt only continues.
The memory problem that keeps us from forgiving robs us of so much.





[1]   James Montgomery Boice, Genesis:  An Expositional Commentary, Grand Rapids:  Zondervan Publishing, 1987, 3:110.
[2] This passage and others are discussed under “Forgiveness,” in The Complete Family Life Encyclopedia by Frank Minirth, et al.
[3] The Holy Bible : English Standard Version. Wheaton : Standard Bible Society, 2001, S. Mt 18:35