Sanctified Sexuality

Before I turn to the discussion of sexuality, I want to put the subject into its proper context.  Paul does that in the opening verse of this chapter.

I Thessalonians 4:1-8

4:1.  Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You are doing this already, and we encourage you to do so more and more.

Here Paul begins what is sometimes called the "practical" section of the epistle.  In saying that, don’t imagine this section is devoid of theological or doctrinal insight—just as the doctrinal sections of his epistles often contain practical insights.

            He begins with a strong appeal--"we urge and appeal to you".  This is important.  In fact, several translation use "beg" to translate appeal.  The New American Bible attempts to capture the feelings behind this request by rendering it "earnestly ask and exhort you."  The International English version:  "We are asking, yes begging..."  The Living Bible seems to blend the notions of Paul's authority and his desire for the Thessalonians to be self-motivated:  "we beg you--yes, we demand of you..."

            He sets forth a worthy goal:  "live in the way the pleases God."  Their attitudes and actions were to be shaped according to God's standards.  As Moffatt translated the idea, "to satisfy" God.  The basic idea is to live in a way that is agreeable to God.

Why should we seek to please God?  Silly question—well, I’ve had people ask me that very question.  We so prize our freedom we may reject the very notion of living to please another—even if the Other is the Creator of the universe.  So, here are some reasons for seeking to please God.

            --Because God is God.  He has the right to direct the lives of his creatures.  While I believe there are those who have adopted an atheistic worldview because they have genuine intellectual difficulties with the existence of God, many “atheists” are wishful thinkers.  They deny the existence of God because they don’t want him interfering with their lives. 

            I recently saw a bumper sticker which said, “Non-Judgment Day Is Coming.”  Now, sometimes we are too judgmental but I don’t think that was the driver’s intent.  I think she was promoting the popular notion that any behavior is OK, nothing is off-limits.

            The Old Testament, especially in the Wisdom Literature, calls God’s people to “fear God.”  The Book of Proverbs, for instance, seems to be built around the maxim:  “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…”          Some have been confused about that statement and have concluded it is speaking of being afraid of God.  That really misses the point.  Fearing God is recognizing God for who he is and ordering our lives accordingly.  From that position we begin to understand the meaning and purpose of our lives;   fearing the Lord is truly the beginning or the foundation of wisdom and knowledge. 

            Listen to the counsel King Jehoshaphat gave the judges he appointed:  “Let fear of Yahweh govern you; be careful what you do, for Yahweh our God will not tolerate malpractice, partiality or the taking of bribes."  In doing their work the were to act "in fear of Yahweh and with conscientious integrity….”  (2 Chronicles 19:6f)

            Fearing God will transform a person’s lifestyle as Proverbs 8:13 says, “All who fear the Lord will hate evil.”

            I’ve taken this little review because the fear of the Lord is also the starting point for a life that pleases God.  Because God is God, we ought to seek to please him.          

            --Because God’s grace should inspire us to respond with obedience. 

The church at Thessalonica existed because of the grace of God.  Although there were those who sought to prevent Paul and his team from presenting the gospel to the Gentiles, they had been faithful in bringing the message of God’s grace to those whom many believed were outside the scope of God’s love.

In time, Paul would write to another band of Gentile Christians,

“When we were still helpless, at the appointed time, Christ died for the godless.  You could hardly find anyone ready to die even for someone upright; though it is just possible that, for a really good person, someone might undertake to die.   So it is proof of God's own love for us, that Christ died for us while we were still sinners.” (Romans 5:6-8)

            If you’ve gone been part of the church long you’ve probably sung what’s been called “the greatest hymn in the English language.”  I’m talking about “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross.”  It speaks of Christ’s death for us sinners.  Remember how the hymn ends?  It says, “Were the whole realm of nature mine, that were a present far too small, love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all.”  Understanding the depths of God’s grace should transform how we live.

            You see, while salvation is rooted in grace, ethics is rooted in gratitude.

            --Because in pleasing God we will ultimately please ourselves. 

            We don’t always think that at first.  We believe the propaganda that God is the cosmic spoilsport.  We believe God’s great goal is to curtail our enjoyment of life.  

            The commands of God (v. 8) are designed not simply to prohibit, but to protect. When you read the Ten Commandments take a moment to ask not just what the command prohibits but “What does this command protect?”  We’re doing ourselves a favor to live a life pleasing to the Lord. 

Paul points to a high motivation--"...in the Lord Jesus..."  Williams helps explain the meaning:  "In the face of our union with the Lord Jesus."  Their new relationship with God through Jesus Christ was the real basis of their living "in the way that pleases God."

Paul says some encouraging things to the Thessalonian Christians.   He commends them for having received the instructions he and his team had given them and for setting out to live a worthy lifestyle—one which was pleasing God.  This commendation was addressed to  both the men and the women in the congregation

These Thessalonian Christians would have been a wonderful group of people to get to know.  I can't imagine Paul writing this if it weren't true; he wasn't one to pass out meaningless flattery.  They had attained a level of discipleship that merited recognition.

But at the same time, he lays out an ongoing challenge:  "...make more progress still."  They had come a long way but there was more.  The Living Bible renders it --"that you live more and more closely to that ideal." 

What Paul says to the Thessalonians reminds us that Christian living involves should involve both accomplishment and aspiration.  We should be able to see progress, but that progress should never lull us into thinking we’ve arrived.

The Christian doctrine of sanctification states that we become saints in an instant but that it takes time to become saintly.  The Thessalonians were on their way;  God’s would continue to work in the congregation to accomplish his will.   Individual Christians and churches should yearn to be on the way, as well.

After this call to live as Christians in a world where Christian values are not the norm, Paul turns to an issue relevant to any age.  He calls the Thessalonians to….

Sanctified Sexuality

Years ago, when Pat and I were members of Houston’s South Main Baptist Church, the pastor, Dr. Ken Chafin, occasionally said:  “If I want to draw a crowd, all I have to do is announce I’ll be preaching either on controlling teenagers or on sex.”

I’m not sure that would work today.  For one thing, too many of us doubt teenagers can be controlled.  And, then, if we want to hear someone talk about sex, all we have to do is turn on the radio or TV.   [Then, too, in the few years since I first presented these studies we’ve come to a place where people who might be embarrassed to be seen reading the Bible in public will openly read Fifty Shades of Grey.]

In Paul’s day, there were no radios or TVs, but lots of people were talking about sex or at least thinking about it.

Did you know that in first-century Greek and Roman homes you could find household items like cups, bowls, and pots with scenes of sexual activity depicted on them?  (This would include both heterosexual and homosexual activity.)  Did you know the Greek and Roman theatre regularly dealt with sexual themes, especially incest?  Did you know there were female “groupies” who made themselves available to gladiators, actors, comedians, anyone in the public spotlight?  (Even though there weren’t spotlights.)

The first-century moral climate was marked by sexual looseness. The Greeks were always looser in their sexual behavior but the Romans began emulating the Greeks and in time some of the same practices were being adopted by the Romans.  Though they never seemed quite as comfortable with some behaviors that he Greeks readily practiced, writings and artwork from the Romans shows they were practiced at the time Paul wrote.  Those behaviors even included child molestation.

Albert Bell writes, “Given the proper circumstances, any Roman man would attempt to sleep with any woman, provided only that any potential retribution from her male kin might not be too severe.” (p. 224)

During the Republic, divorce was uncommon.  It became much more common during the Empire.  Men had greater freedom than women did to pursue sexual relationships outside of the marriage.  Still, although the old double standard usually ruled, women sometimes cleverly avoided the barriers placed around them.   The Roman historian Tacitus writes of women from high-ranking families having their names added to the public lists of prostitutes so they might not be prosecuted for adultery. 

While the wealthy and the rulers had the resources to follow their lusts wherever they took them, ordinary people pursued their own version of the sexual revolution. 

Historians Spickard and Cragg, comment on this first-century climate, describing it as “… an  age that was more sexually indulgent than the late twentieth century, if that can be imagined.”

Into this situation, Paul and his team brought the biblical message about human sexuality.

That Paul might have talked about sex wouldn’t have shocked anyone, what he said about it would have been startling, especially to those who had entered the church from a non-Jewish background.

Key Points of the Biblical View of Sexuality

What are the key points of the Biblical view of our sexuality that Paul would have presented?

Paul could have explained how the very first chapters of the Bible tell us humans were created to be spiritual, social, and sexual beings. 

Even before the Fall, God commanded the Man and the Woman to “Multiply and fill the earth….”  Beyond those seminal chapters what would we discover?

            Some might be surprised to discover the Bible very often celebrates our sexuality.  At the same time, the Bible honestly acknowledges that our sexuality, like every human faculty, has been impacted by sin.

The Bible allows certain sexual behavior and prohibits certain sexual behavior.  It does so, not because sex is so bad, but because sex is so good.  As a consequence, what the Bible says about our sexuality includes both positive and negative statements.

Ÿ  Sexual relations between husband and wife are always spoken of positively.  The writer of Hebrews said succinctly, “Marriage must be held in honor by all, and the marriage relations kept sacred.” (Heb. 13:4)  In this statement, the writer rejects any suggestion that marriage is either evil or a burden.  Through the centuries, the church has said that three elements are necessary for a marriage:  Consent (this rules out rape as forming a “marital” bond), commitment (this rules out casual sex as establishing a marriage) and consummation.  Marriage calls for intentionality and maturity. 

Ÿ  Sexual relations outside of marriage are spoken of negatively.  True, some Bible heroes engaged in extra-marital relations but it was never done so with God’s approval and seldom escaped serious consequences (David and Bathsheba, for example).  The consistent condemnations of adultery and fornication reflect this perspective. 

Ÿ  Other sexual conduct, though not spoken of as frequently, was also consistently condemned.  This would include prostitution, homosexuality, and pedophilia.  Paul’s call to treat slaves with respect may have included a condemnation of the practice that made female slaves sex objects; these powerless women were frequently subject to rape and abuse by their masters.

Instructions to a Church Trying Hard to Not Fit In

It’s out of this background that Paul gives some instructions to a church trying hard to not fit in.

After reminding the Thessalonians “God wants you to be holy,’ Paul goes on to discuss this one particular area in which Christians are to be distinctive in their lifestyles--the expression of their sexuality.  Simply, put God wants his people "to keep away from sexual immorality."  (vs. 3)  That’s God’s intention for the single, the married, for men and for women.  The Message states the command this way, “Keep yourselves from sexual promiscuity.”

The command prohibits any sexual intimacy outside of marriage.  Strong defines the Greek word as “illicit intercourse,” but the idea goes beyond this.  In the context, we can probably say Paul is referring to any behavior so intimate it properly belongs only to the relationship of a married couple.

It’s true that the first century was a time of great sexual looseness, but there has probably never been a time when this was not a concern.  One of the most frequent issues coming before the church courts in 17th century Puritan Massachusetts was adultery/fornication.  Now, of course, adultery is not a crime--in Massachusetts or anywhere else--and fornication (not to mention adultery) is fodder for award-winning television programs, even those presented during the "family" hour.  Still, Christians must strive to attain a sexual morality that is distinct. [See Romans 12 for other ways Christians should have a distinctive lifestyle.]

 Paul lays the responsibility for maintaining that distinct lifestyle upon the individual Christian.  Translations differ in how they render the word “vessel” in verse 4.  I’m most persuaded by the arguments that see it as referring to the believer’s body.

He focuses on the body because the body is the vehicle for expressing our sexuality.  We are to maintain self-control.  There’s nothing here to suggest that we ought to separate the body from the heart or the mind.  Paul is clear that our real problem stems from the “lust” residing in our hearts, the lust that gives rise to wrong behavior.  Leon Morris says Paul uses the word “passion” to refer to “an overmastering desire.”  The Christian must not behave as if he or she had lost all control.  Why the Christian need not lose control will be made clear later in the passage.

God's people must not allow their sexual attitudes and actions to be shaped by the prevailing standards of a culture that does not acknowledge God's authority, either by ignorance or by choice.

As a Jew, Paul would have seen the benefits of the great tradition growing out of the Ten Commandments; as a world-traveler, he would have seen the devastating impact of a sexual philosophy that was fundamentally godless.

Paul explaining how being in Christ should shape how we express the most intimate aspects of our personalities. 

The challenge, “keep yourselves from sexual promiscuity” should have been enough but Paul goes on to address the issue of adultery. 

--Paul begins by pointing out that adultery is a violation of the call to brotherly love.  Christians, even in the expression of their sexual desire, should be concerned with the impact on their behavior on others. 

Paul lived in a patriarchal age but this statement should not be taken to mean Paul failed to see that the adulterer's wife was also a victim.  A bond and pledge she had a right to trust was violated in the act of adultery.  In fact, the Christian sex ethic was unique in that it held men to the same standards as women. 

   The word translated as "defraud" can mean "take advantage of" or "overreach."  The idea seems to be that of going past boundaries and snatching something which is rightfully another's.   Listen to Leon Morris:

[Paul]… reminds us that all sexual looseness represents an act of injustice to someone other than the two parties concerned.  Adultery is an obvious violation of the rights of another.  But promiscuity before marriage represents the robbing of the other of that virginity which ought to be brought to a marriage.  The future partner of such a one has been defrauded.

  

--Paul's warning challenges any notion that God is indifferent to such behavior.

Most modern pastors have heard those caught in an affair make some variation of the argument, "God wants me to be happy--I am happier with another, so this is okay with God."  The warning is clear: God does not ignore the adulterer.

 In fact, God takes the part of the wounded party.  Several hundred years before Paul wrote, the prophet Malachi addressed those who chose to abandon their wives for younger, more exciting, women.  There God stated emphatically:  "I hate divorce." 

  The cruelty of the behavior is emphasized by the prophet, who defends the wife.   "For I hate divorce!" says the Lord, the God of Israel. "It is as cruel as putting on a victim's bloodstained coat," says the Lord Almighty. "So guard yourself; always remain loyal to your wife." (Malachi 2:16)

  Somehow, some way, God would dispense his justice.  To those contemplating such behavior, it ought to be a wake-up call to know “the Lord is an Avenger in these things.”
      [The emphasis here is that God is not indifferent to our sexual behavior.  In reviewing this section I realized I may have left a false impression about what the Bible says about divorce.  The Bible, while stressing the permanence of marriage as the ideal, also recognizes that divorce is a sad reality.  Adultery, abandonment, and abuse all seem to be reasons why a marriage may legitimately be ended. That is a human reality.  Many women and many men who may have sincerely hoped for a lasting marriage have seen that marriage end through no fault of their own;  such people may be comforted by the fact that God can rebuild lives.]

Taking the High Road (7-8)

For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.  [8] Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

In the midst of a society without sexual restraint, how do we take the high road?

Paul would have us remember three things.

1.  The standard set before us comes from God. 

In fact, whoever disregards the standard “disregards not man but God.”  The God who sets this standard for our sexual conduct, not only has the right to do so, but has our best interest in mind. 

When we keep the source of the standard in mind, we will try to avoid those things that would undermine or tempt us to stray from that standard.  That means we will be careful about what we read, what we watch on TV or at the movies, what we talk about with our friends.

We will need the strongest of resolve and almost super-human will power.

[Even as I was preparing to post this decade-old study I was reminded of how appeals to our sexual nature are everywhere.  The cover of the new Sports Illustrated “swimsuit” issue has generated a lot of discussion because it seems to be the most risqué yet.  Should we be surprised?  For as long as I can remember advertisers have followed the dictum “sex sells.”  And so it does. As a consequence, we cannot escape appeals to our sexual natures.  We need resolve to resist.  The Law directs our resistance; the Spirit gives us the power to follow that direction.]

2.  God has a vision for us.

The psalmist says God made us a little lower than the angels; sometimes we live a little above the animals.  Some writers suggest that we humans—being, after all, animals—should take our cues from the animals in our sexual behavior.

That is cheating ourselves, as well as falling short of God’s vision for us.  I like the way The Message renders verse 7:  “God hasn’t invited us into a disorderly, unkempt life but into something holy and beautiful—as beautiful on the inside as the outside.”

In the past, some misguided Christians have said, in effect, you can’t enjoy sex and really be holy.  Paul and the rest of the Bible seems to be saying, You can’t really enjoy sex without being holy.

3.  God has invested Himself in us.

He is the “God who gives his Holy Spirit” to us.  It is not easy to walk the high road of sexual integrity but God has given us his Spirit to strengthen us.

Michael Holmes and Gordon Fee write:

“God does not merely define by his character the standard according to which his followers are to live;  he provides as well the power by which one can live.  He is the one who gives to believers ‘his Holy [this word is emphasized by the word order] Spirit.’  The present tense ‘almost certainly stresses the ongoing work of the Spirit in their lives,’ especially with respect to the struggle against sin:  ‘For Paul the presence of the Spirit was not simply God’s gift as an option against sin; nor would he have understood the Spirit as present but ineffectively so.  To the contrary, the dynamic that makes Paul’s argument against sexual impurity possible is the experienced reality of the Spirit.’”

In practical terms, this means that when we succumb to temptation, we do so in the presence of God.  On the other hand, it means when we face temptation, God is there to help.

Challenges and Counsel

The Challenge of Being Sexual Saints

It a culture such as ours, it’s tough to live up to the standard set before us, to live with sexual integrity.

God made us spiritual, social, and sexual beings.  We’re not Freudian, but the simple fact is we can’t stop being sexual beings any more than we can stop being spiritual beings.  It’s who we are.

But we can allow the expression of our sexual nature to be shaped by the transforming work of Christ in our lives.  Lust puts me first; love—especially Christian love—puts the other first.

Holmes describes this: 

“It …means taking into account what is best for the long-term well-being of one’s friend/date/partner, rather than what feels good or seems right at the moment.  Feelings and memories stay long after the relationship that gave rise to them comes to an end.  People engaged in a nonmarital sexual relationship (particularly if the relationship involves exploitation of any form) accumulate emotional and physical ‘baggage,’ which is often carried forward into subsequent relationships (marriage in particular) this amounts to a form of doing wrong to a future spouse.”

The Challenge of Singleness

If there is a television program featuring adult characters in which a single person is sexually abstinent by choice, I don’t know it.  TV’s message is clear, if you’re single, you’re either sexually-active or trying hard to become sexually-active.  And, of course, movies and television mock the very notion of abstinence.  

The world of television and movies isn’t the real world but some people believe it’s the ideal world.  Christian singles know better.  They also know that being Christian does not shut-down the sexual side of their personalities.

British writer and Bible teacher John Stott addresses single Christians in his discussion of this passage.

We … must accept this apostolic teaching, however hard it may seem, as God’s good purpose both for us and for society….  It is possible for human sexual energy to be redirected…both into affectionate relationships with friends of both sexes and into the loving service of others….  Alongside a  natural loneliness, accompanied sometimes by acute pain, we can find joyful self-fulfillment in the self-giving service of God and other people.

It must be difficult to be single in this age—perhaps it was difficult in any age.  Within a few years Pat and I will have been married four [now, five] decades; some of you may feel that disqualifies me from speaking on the challenge of singleness.   You may be right.

But I still think John Stott’s words are relevant.  You’ve heard me quote Stott before.  Until his death a few years ago, he was one of the most influential British Evangelicals of the twentieth-century, if not the most influential.  His books on biblical, theological and ethical issues, along with his books on modern Christianity, have impacted the church beyond measure.  Did you hear how the quotation began?  He said, “We…must accept this apostolic teaching.”  John Stott was single.

When he died in his mid-seventies, he left behind a testimony that it is possible for a Christian to be single and maintain sexual integrity. 

The Challenge of Failure

The possibility of men and women, single or married, maintaining sexual integrity does not deny the reality that sometimes Christians fail.

Sometimes we forget that God views sex, relationships, and persons as important.  Forget that casual sex trivializes each of these.

We may succumb to the general pressure applied by our culture or the persuasion of someone we care about.  We may even try to relieve the pain of loneliness by seeking intimacy in an illicit relationship.

But, then, the sometimes whispering, sometimes shouting voice of the Spirit breaks through and we know we’ve failed. 

What can we do?

§  Don’t fall for the propaganda that says either that failure in the area of your sexuality is unimportant or that such failure is final, even unforgiveable.

§  Remember that the God who longs to see you walk in holiness, also loves to forgive and restore. 

   If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth.

   But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.

   If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

  My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if you do sin, there is someone to plead for you before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who pleases God completely.

   He is the sacrifice for our sins. He takes away not only our sins but the sins of all the world.

§  As you delight in the experience of restoration, consider how you might establish safeguards to protect you from failing again.

Conclusion

Historian Edward Gibbon wrote:   “The dignity of marriage was restored by the Christians.”

I heard the other day about a couple getting married in one of the Orthodox Christian groups.  In that communion, the couple is expected to fast for twenty-four hours before the ceremony.  I’m not sure why that is required, but my guess is it’s designed to underscore the seriousness of the event.

Some Romans had begun to mock and ridicule whatever marriage ceremonies they had.  The beauty of the Christian marriage ceremony is a reminder that the early Christians saw the wedding as a holy moment, the beginning of a relationship marked by God’s grace and blessing.

In time, the pagans began to notice the distinctive Christian lifestyle, especially their attitude toward marriage and sex.  One second-century writer said of the Christians:  “They marry as do all; they begat children…  They have a common table, but not a common bed.”  Within the Christian community…

§  Husbands could feel secure about their wives.

§  Women did not find themselves the prey of predators hoping make a conquest.

§  Female slaves did not dread being exploited by their Christian masters.

As the young church began to live-out the Christian lifestyle, believers were sometimes admired and sometimes the object of hatred and anger.

Augustine spoke of how the Romans despised Christians because of their opposition to their unrestrained sexual lifestyles.  Tertullian wrote of how the Romans hated the very name “Christian.”  The name-calling we hear today (“right-wing fanatics,” “religious right,” or “bigots”) is not new.

In the eyes of the non-Christian world, this sanctified sexuality was a shocking way to live.

In many ways, it still is.