I wrote this a few years ago to
deal with what I saw as a problem for some American Chrisitans—both those who
might be described as either liberal or conservative. I fear it contains some reminders we might
soon need again.
On Keeping a Civil Tongue
Last week the President of the United States
accused of lying.
Now I don’t have to tell you that this was
not the first time a president has been called a liar. In fact, I suspect every American president
was called a liar at one time or another.
Except, perhaps, William Harrison but he died only a month after his inauguration.
Of course, in his two hour Inaugural address—given bare-headed and coatless in
the freezing cold—he promised to limit the power of the presidency, to not seek
a second term, and to let congress deal with money matters. So, if he hadn’t caught the cold that day
that would kill him a month later, President Harrison would have probably been
called a liar eventually.
What made this most recent event so unique
was the venue. The president as he spoke
in a joint session of Congress being televised to the whole nation and beyond. The accuser was a congressman who shouted out
his allegation like a heckler in a nightclub.
Now, the congressman has since
apologized. That’s good. I draw your attention to the event because I
think it illustrates a disturbing trend in our culture. We are losing our sense of civility. We’ve watched this happen for some time. We’ve seen enough examples of incivility that
probably few people were surprised it finally reared itself in such a public
setting.
I think there are a number of reasons why
this is happening.
1. We
have bad role models.
Individuals held up for praise in a culture
that enjoys the “gotcha” moment are usually the go-for-the-jugular types. We hear them on talk radio or see them on
morning TV. They are men and women. Politically they are on the left and
right. They seem successful in getting
their points across and we want to copy them.
2.
Many of us have a sense of frustration.
Many feel voiceless, that the ‘powers that
be’ just won’t listen. We were raised
with that Norman Rockwell picture of the ordinary man speaking at the town
meeting. But when we go to that town
meeting we hear, “Sorry but we don’t have room for you on the agenda.” No wonder people find themselves shouting and
waving fists.
3.
Some incivility must grow out of a sense of superiority.
When we feel we are better than others we
give ourselves permission to tread them with disdain, to be rude and caustic in speaking to
them.
4.
Some incivility grows out of a sense of being undervalued.
This is the opposite of the last
situation. If you feel people don’t take
you seriously, you strike back.
I don’t claim this is a scientific analysis
of how incivility grows but I do know that the more we fail to demonstrate
civility toward one another, the harder it is to communicate with one
another. That’s true whether we’re
talking about the political arena, the workplace, the home, or the church. Incivility is not simply a social issue; it is a spiritual issue. It is a spiritual issue because it affects
the quality of our fellowship and the impact of our witness.
I want to spend a few moments looking at Paul
who was a model of civility in the midst of a hostile culture. He embodied the principle he set out in his
letter to the Ephsians: Speak the truth
in love. Think of this as a call to
civility.
Before we move on let me make clear what
civility isn’t.
1.
Civility is not allowing opponents to run roughshod over you, trampling
your rights.
In recent years, some well-meaning Christian
writers have suggested that Christians have no rights. According to them, we should accept whatever
our opponents dish out. After all,
Jesus was mistreated too.
Being willing to suffer for Christ, if that
should be in the providence of God, does not require us to surrender our
opportunities to speak or act when we can.
Standing up for your right to speak for your side on an issue is not an
unchristian act. It is embracing what,
in the providence of God, is your right in our culture.
2. Civility
is not remaining silent in the face of
error.
Silence in that situation may be perceived as
agreement.
When Paul calls us to “speak the truth in
love” getting the truth out is essential.
But truth is spoken lovelessly often isn’t heard. In his commentary on Ephesians, Blaike says,
“… truth must be inseparably married to love; good tidings spoken harshly are
not good tidings. The charm of the message is destroyed by the discordant
spirit of the messenger. “[1] Civility has not so much to do with the
content of what we say as our mode of saying it.
Civility Modeled
The man who calls us to speak the truth in
love modeled this civility.
In Acts 17, we see Paul in Athens. He is on his own because Silas and Timothy
are away at churches the team had helped start elsewhere. As usual, Paul preached in the synagogues and
took his message to the streets. All the
while he was observing the culture of Athens.
He got to know the people he hoped to influence.
Civility recognizes the importance of
treating people with respect, all people.
Paul tried to understand the Athenians and get a sense of their
values. It would pay off.
Then, too, civility recognizes that some
occasion may be better than others for speaking. As a rabbi, he could speak freely at the
synagogues. Since Greece was full of
traveling teachers, Paul could take his place on a street corner and proclaim
his message just like they did. But if
Paul wanted to speak to the intellectually elite in this city of philosophers,
he would have to wait.
He didn’t barge onto their turf, demanding to
be heard. He was invited. This is how he began.
Then Paul stood in
front of the Areopagus and said, “Athenians, I see how extremely religious you
are in every way. For as I went through
the city and looked carefully at the objects of your worship, I found among
them an altar with the inscription, ‘To an unknown god.’ What therefore you
worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you.[2]
This
is how the King James Version renders his opening remarks: “Men of Athens, I perceive you are too
superstitious….”
Now, that doesn’t sound very tactful, does
it? Hardly a model of civility.
It makes Paul seem arrogant and
judgmental, qualities hardly likely to win a hearing. The truth is, these qualities are among those
which our contemporaries are most-likely to say keeps them from listening to
Christians share their faith.
You should know that the King James
translation is really misleading. The
New Century Version is closer to the meaning.
Paul actually said, “Men of Athens, I see you are very religious….” That puts his words into a totally different
light. Rather than seeming arrogant and
judgmental, Paul appears to be saying, “I can see you take religion
seriously; so do I, let’s talk.” That’s being civil.
Paul modeled how to approach those
who differed from our world-view, yet over the past few years many of the
American church’s best-known representatives have become more and more
vitriolic in the language they use toward outsiders. These people have forgotten how to be civil.
You and I have to work extra hard
to overcome the negative impact of the behavior of some of our Christian
brothers and sisters.
It’s always easier to be uncivil
than to be civil. But if we want to
reach the outsiders, it’s a quality we will have to cultivate.
The Benefits of Civility
Civility opens doors. Being civil toward those with whom we
disagree may give us the opportunity to be there when they are open to hearing
the gospel.
After Senator Edward Kennedy’s
death thousands of words were written about his half century in the
Senate. Some praised him, some
criticized him. Maybe you read the
surprising column by Cal Thomas. Thomas
is a conservative columnist who was once associated with Jerry Falwell in
leading the Moral Majority. In the
column, Thomas talked about Ted Kennedy, his friend! Thomas spoke of how colleagues attending the
tenth anniversary party for his column were shocked when Ted Kennedy walked
in. The Thomas’ were guests of the
Kennedys in their home. The Senator once
wrote a friendly blurb for one of Thomas’ books. Kennedy and Thomas couldn’t have been farther
apart in politics yet they had a friendship
Thomas wrote that some of his
readers, discovering the friendship,
wrote to suggest he had gone soft.
Would it have been better if Thomas had called Kennedy, the Catholic, a
hypocrite because he supported abortion rights?
Should Thomas have blasted Kennedy as a womanizer? In the minds of some, he probably should
have. Instead, when a television
interviewer asked Thomas, “Bottom
line. Was the senator a good man?”
Thomas answered simply and truthfully, “Only God is good. The rest of us are sinners.”
Because of that friendship, Thomas
could say, “I know of… hurts and concerns he shared with the very few he could
trust about which I would never speak.”
Please, do not misunderstand. I
am not suggesting Cal Thomas did any overt witnessing to Kennedy. I am suggesting that civility opened way to a
door to an intimacy that harshness and criticism would have left closed and
barred.
Speaking the Truth in Love?
I began talking about the world of
politics. Whatever you might think of applying
what I’ve said to that world, I hope you see it must apply to the world of the
church.
We Christians
don’t have the options politicians do.
We must speak the truth. As far
as I know there are no scriptures telling us how to “spin” the gospel to make
it more acceptable. Speaking the truth
may well make people suspicious of us, critical of us, and downright mad at
us. Nonetheless, we must speak the truth
and we must speak it in love.
