Unchained

Psalm 139:23-24

One afternoon a woman knocked on the door of the parsonage in Texas.  She was in tears.  One of her teenaged sons had gotten into some really serious trouble.  Normally very guarded, she began to talk about her family and her childhood.  In the midst of tearful ramblings, she told Pat and me that she had been molested by an uncle when she was five-years-old.

Now, I knew this woman didn’t have much good to say about the male side of the human race and suddenly that made sense.  The painful memories of that experience still haunted her, gave her a jaundiced view of all men.

What she revealed about her past is all too common.  Take twenty-five women at random and it would be more surprising to discover there were no women with experiences like hers than to discover there were several. 

Of course, many men and women have been wounded by events in their past.  They may not manifest their pain as clearly as this woman did, but they are wounded just the same.

 Every Sunday we worship with men and women who are wearing the chains of a painful past.

For some, those chains were forged in childhood.  They may have been victim of abuse or neglect.  They may have lived with alcoholic parents, parents who behaved more like children than they ever had the privilege of being.  They may have known the pain and confusion of seeing their parent divorce.

For some, those chains were forged in their youth.  Anyone who dubs adolescence as "happy days" has a short memory.  Young people are especially vulnerable to rejection, rejection which will follow them into later life.  Or, perhaps that painful memory is linked to some irresponsible act.  We can only imagine the chains of shame and guilt some young people are forging in our culture.

And, for some, those chains are linked to their experiences as adults.  Failure can produce a painful memory.  So can being overlooked for a job or position you've dreamed of.  Betrayal by someone you trusted can sour you to friendship and make trust seem foolish. Adults can know the pain of broken relationships. 

While I was preparing this message I was surprised at the number of biblical characters who had painful experience that could have left them in chains, keeping them from being what God intended.  Some of their experiences might be familiar.

--Do you live with the memory of betrayal by someone close to you, by a loved one?  Have you been the victim of injustice?  Has that memory stifled your ability to dream?

Maybe your pain is like that of Joseph.  He was sold into slavery by his own brothers.  He was imprisoned on false charges, an experience that only poured salt into the wound of sexual harassment.  Those memories could have made him think he was finished, that he had no place in what God planned for his people.  But by God's grace Joseph was able to overcome resentment and despair.

--Are you reeling in spiritual confusion?  Do your inner memory tapes keep replaying the time when you trusted God and then everything seemed to go out of control?

Maybe your pain is like that of Ruth.  She was not born a Jew but she embraced her husband's faith.  Then tragedy struck.  She became a widow.  The pain of her loss could have marred her for life.  After all, her sister-in-law, whose husband died at the same time as Ruth's, walked away and we never hear of her again.  Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law, allowed her grief to transform her to the extent that she told her neighbors in Bethlehem that her name would now be "Bitterness".  And, ultimately, Ruth could have said, "Following this God of Israel has only brought me pain.  I'm going to return to the gods of Moab."

--Was your self-esteem bludgeoned as a child?  Is your life marked by successes punctuated by colossal mistakes? 

Maybe your pain is like that of David.  A careful reading of his story suggests that he had to deal with the childhood pain of not being taken seriously and its consequent blow to his self-worth.  When Samuel came to Bethlehem with divine directions to anoint one of Jesse's sons as the future king, Jesse seemingly forgot his youngest son.   When David showed up one day at Saul's camp, his brothers told him that he'd better get back to his sheep.   I think much of David's life can be explained as a quest for self-worth, a quest which may have been the driving force behind the two great sins of his life--numbering the people to prove how great a king he was and adultery with Bathsheba.

Let's turn to the New Testament.

--Do you live with the shame of your life before finding Christ?  Are you haunted by the memory of a time when you were caught in the web of self-destructive evil?  The vehicle of the bondage may have been alcohol, drugs, or even a relationship.  The particulars don't matter.  What matters is that it has robbed you of your sense of worth.  It makes you feel unfit for having a vital relationship with Christ.

Maybe your pain is like that of Mary Magdalene.  Luke introduces us to Mary by describing her as a woman "from whom seven demons had come out."   You and I may not be able to fully explain what that statement means, but at the very least it means that Mary had once been in the very grasp of evil.  She was both the victim and tool of Satan.  She paid for the ticket but didn't get the ride she expected.

--Are you living with the memory of having opposed what God was doing?  Did you adamantly declare that God just wouldn't use that person as his instrument or those people to do his work?  Do you know now that your stubborn refusal harmed God's people?

Maybe your pain is like that of the Apostle Paul.  He lived with painful memories which, if unchecked, could have rendered him ineffective.    The Book of Acts places Paul at the execution of Stephen and describes him as "giving approval to his death."  But he didn't stop there; his activities are summed up in these terse words, "Saul [Paul] began to destroy the church.  Going from house to house, he dragged off men and women and put them in prison."   Then Paul, "still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord's disciples", was confronted by the Risen Christ and he discovered that the claims of the Christians he had persecuted were true.  But, now, how could he face those he had once tormented?  Could he ever be of use to the church he had tried to destroy?

--Are you living with the memory of having failed Christ after you declared you allegiance to him?  It could have been a dramatic failure.  It could have been the failure of letting other things slowly crowd him out of your life. 

Maybe your pain is like that of Peter.  You remember Peter's story.  The night before the crucifixion Peter made the bold claim that he would die for Christ.  Within a few hours he had denied even knowing Christ.  In the days following Peter must have relived that moment a thousand times.  He must have thought the dream which was born in his heart when Christ said to him, "You will be known as Rock" had died forever.  Jesus had said to him, "You will fish for men."  Now that seemed impossible.

SOME OBSERVATIONS ON

BREAKING CHAINS

You may have seen your pain reflected in one or more of these lives.  That very variety of experience makes it impossible to come up with a formula which would apply to every person chained by a painful past.  But we can offer some observations which may help us as we deal with pain from the past, help us be free.  There is a way to break the destructive chains forged in the past.  Each of the people I mentioned were ultimately unchained.

1.   If you wish to be unchained, you may have to confront those who caused your pain.

Years after he had been sold into slavery, Joseph had the opportunity to confront his brothers.  He had been through so many things in the intervening years--servitude, prison, obscurity, and the surprising rise to power in Egypt.  Providential circumstances brought his brothers to Egypt to seek food.  At first Joseph kept his identity a secret from them.  But, at last, he identified himself.

Joseph's brothers were terrified.  They expected him to retaliate for the wrong they had done to him.  He didn't.  Some like to say that Joseph forgave and forgot.  That's not quite correct.   He forgave but only after a moment of confrontation.  In the best-known episode, Joseph said to his brothers, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good...."  If Joseph had minimized their wrongdoing , he would have minimized his forgiveness.

Notice two things about this confrontation.  First, Joseph determined the timing of the confrontation.  He kept control of the situation.  Second, the issue was not resolved in one confrontation.  Should you chose to confront the one who hurt you, remember how Joseph handled the matter

2.  If you wish to be unchained, acknowledge any role you may have had in causing your pain.

Much of the pain people carry from the past is due to circumstances beyond their control.  The adult-child of an alcoholic was never responsible for that alcoholism.  Yet, there are occasions when our own behavior causes us pain.  David's sin with Bathsheba and its consequences for his family and nation is an example.

When he finally faced up to his sin he sought forgiveness and restoration.  He cried out, "Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation." (51)  In another Psalm, possibly related to the same events, David declared, "Blessed is the one whose sins are forgiven."(32) It may be that before you can break the chains that bind you, before you can hope for a brighter tomorrow, you must seek God's forgiveness and restoration.

3.  If you wish to be unchained, strive to associate with those who have been unchained.

Notice that Ruth did not walk away from her human connections.  Her determination is expressed in a classic statement:  "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God."

Mary Magdalene, having been set free by Jesus, began to associate with others who were following Christ.  In fact, we never see her alone--except for a brief moment in the Garden, just before see saw the Risen Lord.

One of the great temptations we face when we are dealing with great pain is the temptation to withdraw.  Healing seldom comes in the midst of emotional and spiritual isolation.

Remember the woman who came to our door and blurted out that painful episode from her childhood.  Shortly after that revelation about her childhood experience of abuse, she left the church.   The reason she gave for leaving was a minor disagreement she had with another woman in the church.  I doubt that was the real reason.  I think she just couldn't stand someone knowing her secret.  Don’t copy her.

4.  If you wish to be unchained, be willing to purge the negative thinking processes linked to your painful past.

­Some people are plagued with what's been called "stinkin' thinkin'".  Everything which passes through their mind is contaminated by their past.  They have to have help in changing their thought processes. 

Psalm 139 may reflect such a transformation of David's thinking.  He begins by acknowledging God's constant care over his life and moves on to marvel at God's personal involvement in making him a unique person.  He concludes with a prayer,

²³      Search me, O God, and know my heart!

         Try me and know my thoughts! [or “cares”]

²⁴      And see if there be any grievous way in me,

          and lead me in the way everlasting!

That's a fine translation but it doesn't portray the full meaning of the Hebrew word translated as "wicked" or “grevious.”  That word literally means "harmful".  So David is praying for the eradication from his life of whatever might be harmful.  That would certainly include wickedness or sin, but it also includes the crippling impact of emotional and spiritual wounds from the past.  Those wounds could easily have shaped his “thoughts” or given birth to his “cares.”

  H. C. Leupold offers a translation which carries this implication:

Search me, O God, and know my heart:

Test me and know my thoughts.

And see if there be any way in me that leads to pain;

And lead me in the way everlasting!

The purging process can be painful and time-consuming; it may even require you to seek help from someone with specialized training in counseling.  But it will be worth the work if you can break the chains.

5.  If you wish to be unchained, open your life to a sovereign and gracious God who holds the past and the future in his hands.

This may be the one characteristic that these wounded people in the Bible                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               had in common.  The Bible never tells us that God can change the past.  It tells us that God may change the impact of the past and give hope for the future.  Those who trust him can experience his grace and his power.   By faith you can hear the chains drop away.

CONCLUSION

Were you once free?  Do you now feel the weight of chains every time you move?  Are you chained to the memories of a painful past?  Jesus Christ can release you from the chafing, cutting, restrictive chains forged in your painful past.  He can free you.